By Peter Amsterdam
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Jesus made some strong statements in the Gospels about following Him. He made it clear that being His disciple came with a price, and the requirements weren’t easy. The commitment to follow Him required a reorienting of one’s life, loyalty, relationships, desires, and priorities, just as it does today.
Discipleship is understood as aligning oneself with Christ, and making this realignment means that our priorities change. Discipleship calls for giving Jesus first place in our hearts, lives, and decisions. This doesn’t mean that our former priorities are no longer important, but it means that they no longer hold the same place.
In Luke’s Gospel, we read: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). And in Matthew, we read that Jesus said: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).
However, we also read elsewhere in these same Gospels that Jesus affirmed the commandment to honor one’s parents. When a man asked Jesus what he needed to do to gain eternal life, Jesus told him to “keep the commandments.” When the fellow asked which ones, Jesus listed a number of the Ten Commandments, including the command to “honor your father and mother” (Matthew 19:16–19). Elsewhere, Jesus rebuked the scribes and Pharisees for hypocritically dedicating money and other things to the temple treasury, thus putting it out of reach of their needy parents, while they could still use it for themselves (Matthew 15:4–6).
Jesus advocated that parents were to love one another and love their children, and that children were to love and care for their parents. Thus His statement that those who follow Him must “hate” the members of their own family needs to be looked at within the greater context of what He said about family relationships. When Jesus spoke of hating father, mother, spouse, or children, He wasn’t speaking literally. The call to hate meant “to love less by comparison,” as seen in other places in Scripture.
In the Gospel of Matthew, we see the same point that was made in Luke, but from the perspective of not loving our parents more than Jesus (Matthew 10:37).
The call to disciples is to give Jesus first priority in our affections and loyalty. It’s not calling for exclusive love, but rather guides us to prioritize our love by giving Jesus first place. Jesus set an example of prioritizing when He put His mission before His mother and brothers. “Then his mother and his brothers came to him, but they could not reach him because of the crowd. And he was told, ‘Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see you.’ But he answered them, ‘My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it’” (Luke 8:19–21).
While disciples are to honor their parents, God has higher priority. When He calls someone to follow Him, if the parents are in opposition, the disciple understands that while they love their parents, their calling is to love God more, and thus to follow Him even despite their parents’ objections. Many of those who followed Jesus during His lifetime, as well as others who joined the church in the decades after His resurrection, became alienated from their families because they were seen as having left the proper practice of the Jewish faith or the religious belief system they were raised in.
Scripture teaches, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Part of that newness in Christ is adjusting our priorities in life. We don’t completely abandon our other loves, loyalties, and responsibilities, but we understand that we have entered into a relationship with God which has become our primary relationship.
And while Jesus expressed the call to love God above everything else, He also commanded us to love others. When He responded to the question, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. … You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” He concluded by saying, “There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:28–31). We are to love God above all else, but we are also to love others—including our relatives and those who are closest to us.
Another area in which Jesus taught that believers are called to give their primary allegiance to Him is our material wealth. In the story of the rich young ruler, Jesus taught that this includes placing Him above our material possessions. All three synoptic Gospels tell the story of the rich young ruler who asked Jesus what he needed to do in order to have eternal life.1 Even though he had kept the commandments, he sensed that something was missing, and asked Jesus what more he needed to do. “Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, ‘You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me’” (Mark 10:21).
The young man had kept most of the commandments, but there was an important one that he wasn’t willing to keep: “You shall have no other gods before me” (Deuteronomy 5:7). We read that, “Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions” (Mark 10:22). Some translations render this as he was stunned, was saddened, his face fell. He chose to serve his wealth rather than God. His wealth on earth was more important to him than treasure in heaven.
The disciples were astonished by Jesus’ comment after the young ruler left, about “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” (Mark 10:23–25). Peter, speaking for the disciples, said to Jesus, “We have left everything and followed you.” And Jesus replied with a wonderful promise:
“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:28–30).
Peter spoke for the disciples, pointing out that they had done what the rich man was unwilling to do. Jesus assured His disciples that those who follow His call will be greatly rewarded—both in this life and eternally. Those who have put Christ first before their belongings, relatives, houses, or land will be rewarded in this life and the next.
Discipleship is a call to reorder what is important to us and what we give first priority to in our lives. The call is to place Jesus first in our heart and lives, and to follow Him in the ways He leads each of us and His will for our lives—which will be personal to each individual. We make His kingdom a priority in our lives and decisions as we answer His call to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,” trusting that as we do so, “all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).
Originally published September 2017. Adapted and republished May 2026. Read by Jon Marc.
1 See Matthew 19:16–30, Mark 10:17–30, and Luke 18:18–30.
