• We love Him because He first loved us.

  • The future is as bright as God’s promises.

  • Pray without ceasing. Give thanks always.

  • God so loved the world. Every person.

  • Our mission. Reaching the world.

Anchor

User-friendly devotionals with audio

  • Better Days Ahead—Part 8

    Make Each Day Count

    By Peter Amsterdam

    Audio length: 12:12
    Download Audio (11.1MB)

    We all want our lives to count, to make a difference. You, like me, have probably read articles or books on goal setting, building good habits, teamworking, being purpose-driven, etc., with the intent of learning how to make the most of the time God has given you. It can be a great adventure to make plans and set goals, and then pray desperately and seek the Lord about where He is leading and how He wants to help us accomplish His plan for that stage of our lives. Of course, this adventure doesn’t necessarily mean we embark on a phenomenal, world-changing goal. It could be such things as starting a new business or a nonprofit, going back to school, beginning a mission work, getting a different job, volunteering in a ministry, etc.

    Sometimes we might be tempted to think that we can only make a difference if we do something outstanding and extraordinary. Thinking like that can cause discouragement instead of inspiration, especially if you are dealing with other circumstances that limit what you can do. Circumstances such as a medical condition, financial constraints, the needs of your extended family, and restrictions in society at large can impact your plans considerably.

    While it is beneficial to have goals that are impressive, it’s also important to concentrate on the power of seeing the opportunities in everyday small things that make a difference. This focus can help us have a positive outlook as we go through the day because we’re on the lookout for what the Lord is going to do to open a door so that we can be a blessing to others.

    We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.—Marian Wright Edelman

    We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.—Mother Teresa

    The older I get, the more I’m conscious of ways very small things can make a change in the world.—Sandra Cisneros

    Make a difference

    No matter how limited your circumstances, there is always something you can do to make a difference in the lives of others. Doing something for someone else, even something small, can be the steppingstone to something greater.  You never know how a small deed can change a life.

    Want to make the world a better place? … Enter the five-minute favor concept that is no more complicated than its name alludes: take five minutes out of your day to do something that’ll benefit another person. … It doesn’t cost you much, but it can make a big difference in somebody’s life.1

    *

    I believe that God wants to encourage people, but often He needs us to do it. And we do have what others need. We have God’s Holy Spirit and His words of love! Our life can be influential because of the power of our words. Our words don’t need to be profound or eloquent—just simple words that meet a person’s need for love, hope, significance, or comfort.

    If you feel like you have no time, no energy, no expertise, or little to give, don’t worry; that’s common to many of us. But we can all give through our words of encouragement, through which our lives can have influence, and we can spread God’s love wherever we go. In just five minutes or less, we can make a difference at a bus stop, on the metro, at the shop, at work, at school, online, going for a walk, and the list goes on.

    Here are some questions we can ask ourselves: What can I say to this person that will help them in some way, lift their spirits, brighten their day, and make them feel appreciated, valued, and worthwhile? How can I leave this person feeling good about themselves, that what they’re doing counts? Then let’s ask God to give us the faith to say whatever He lays on our hearts.—Maria Fontaine

    Pay it forward

    You have probably heard of the expression “pay it forward”—the idea being that when someone does something for you, instead of paying that person back directly, you then extend the same or a similar kindness to someone else. Practicing this can be inspiring and a blessing to others and ourselves. Here is a little account along those lines that a co-worker wrote:

    The Lord did something special for me last night. I went to eat dinner at my favorite little Italian restaurant. There was a wonderful female server. We talked a bit. I learned she had just come from Albania three months earlier. She said the move has been “very hard.” Later she came up to me and said, “You are very brave. Sitting here eating alone.”

    A bit later I asked for my check. There was a cute family with two beautiful children sitting two tables away from me. During my meal I was trying to not watch them or eavesdrop on their conversation, but that took some effort as I was facing them and the kids were so cute.

    The server brought the husband of that family their check as she was on her way to deliver my check to me. Then she came over to me stunned and said, “That man has paid for your meal.”

    I was surprised and touched. I went over to thank him. We talked for a minute or two, and then as he was leaving, he said, “Well, pay it forward sometime.” I said, “Yes, I’m going to pay it forward right now with our server.”

    As I was leaving, I went to find the Albanian woman who had served me, and I told her, “He said to pay it forward, and I’m doing that now.” I took her hand and put a bill in it equal to the cost of my meal. Then I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, and said, “God bless you.” She was beaming! I knew that the Lord had done this to encourage her—and me!

    God can take our small efforts and multiply them in the lives of others. And if we are faithful to take advantage of small opportunities to be a witness of His love when they present themselves, then the Lord can open the door for greater opportunities. The Bible says that “he who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much” (Luke 16:10).

    Love is manifested by action; love demonstrates outgoing concern. When you’re willing to give of yourself, to be a friend, a companion, a listening ear; when you’re willing to take your time to talk to someone who’s lonely or seeking the truth, or to make someone feel needed and important—all of this brings with it a certain satisfaction and reward of spirit for you.

    When you give in this way, even though it may initially be a sacrifice of your time, it won’t be long before you see the rewards, and it will become obvious to you that you did the right thing. You can feel My love in your heart, and you have a sense of accomplishment, a sense of fulfillment, a joy and satisfaction in knowing that you made somebody’s day brighter, you helped to lighten their load, you helped them to not give up.

    Through performing these little acts of love and unselfishness, you are blessed personally with the joy and peace of My Spirit. It’s not fleeting or dependent upon the circumstances, but it’s a gift that I give you—the happiness of knowing that you have been a blessing to someone in need.—Jesus

    As Christians, our calling is to do the will of God. As we seek to please the Lord, it behooves us to do what we can day by day within the realm of our influence and means. The key phrase here is day by day. We might not see immediate results, but we can’t let that discourage us. We can trust in God’s promise: “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

    God is big enough for even our smallest tasks. He is holy enough to sanctify even our most menial moments. He is great enough to give significance even to the little things of our lives. And in them, to give us precious and peculiar joys. In Christ, by His Spirit, there is indeed “joy to find in every station”—not just in the bright, shining, public flashes of our various vocations, but in the smallest, most menial, seemingly insignificant moments.—David Mathis2

    We are blessed to know the Lord and His Word, and as we do what we can each day to be faithful to our calling as His followers and representatives, we will find meaning in our lives. We can make each day count by doing what we can to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, and soul, and to love others as we love ourselves. And in those times when we don’t feel like we’re making much of a difference or we don’t have a lot of fruit to show for our labors, we can rest assured that as we don’t give up, but continue to do our best to be a witness of the Lord’s love and truth, one day we will hear Him say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant, enter into My joy.” (See Matthew 25:21.) Then it will be worth it all!

    Originally published December 2021. Adapted and republished September 2025. Read by John Laurence.


    1 “How A (Very) Little, Daily Favor Can Change Your Life,” HuffPost, September 3, 2013, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/five-minute-favor-adam-rifkin_n_3805090

    2 David Mathis, “Faithfulness in the Little Things Where We Are Called,” TableTalk magazine, July 2019 issue, https://tabletalkmagazine.com/article/2019/07/faithfulness-in-the-little-things-where-we-are-called/

  • Sep 2 Stamped with God’s Image
  • Aug 29 Learning to Dance in the Darkness
  • Aug 28 Gifts and Callings
  • Aug 27 A Pandemic of Loneliness
  • Aug 25 Facing Life’s Challenges with Faith
  • Aug 19 Seize the Moment! Don’t Procrastinate!
  • Aug 18 Seeking the Treasures
  • Aug 14 Prayer Principles
  • Aug 13 Gaining by Giving
   

Directors’ Corner

Faith-building Bible studies and articles

  • 1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 (verses 1–13)

    In 1 Corinthians chapter 12, Paul addressed the varieties of spiritual gifts and service, emphasizing that it is God who empowers these gifts and the Holy Spirit who apportions gifts to each believer “for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:4–7, 11). Many commentators believe the final sentence of chapter 12 was meant to be the first verse of chapter 13. Accordingly, we will start this study with 1 Corinthians 12:31.

    But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31).

    Paul ended this chapter by encouraging the Corinthians to eagerly desire the greater gifts. He then proceeded to declare that he would show them “a more excellent way” to live as part of the body of Christ. Paul wrote throughout his epistles of the importance of love among Christians, which is the theme of 1 Corinthians 13, often referred to as the supremacy or preeminence of love.

    If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal (1 Corinthians 13:1).

    Paul had addressed the gift of speaking in tongues in the previous chapter, and he focused on it again here because of the overemphasis that some Corinthian believers were placing on this. He referred to this gift here as “tongues of men and of angels.” However, there is no evidence that Paul believed it was possible to speak in the “tongues of angels,” nor is this mentioned anywhere else in the Bible.

    However, even if one could speak with such tongues, such a gift would be nothing without love. Paul personalized this by saying that if he spoke such tongues without love, he would be nothing but a “noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” Paul’s claim that the gift of tongues, without love, would be just a racket likely shocked the Corinthian readers who had exalted themselves because of this gift.

    And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2).

    Next, Paul spoke of prophecy, a gift that he held in high esteem (1 Corinthians 14:1). He starts by presenting a hypothetical scenario in which he possessed such a powerful gift of prophecy that he could know all mysteries and all knowledge. However, no prophet in the Bible ever possessed such omniscience. Yet, Paul points out that even if he knew every divine secret and all knowledge, without love he would be nothing.

    Paul then went on to make a similar statement regarding faith, saying, “If I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” A person may have mountain-moving faith (Mark 11:23), but it will profit them nothing without love.

    If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:3).

    Paul then moves on to speak of sacrificial giving. The NIV translation (as well as the KJV) provides a bit more clarity to the intent of this giving: “If I give all I possess to the poor.” Paul presented the hypothetical scenario of himself as one who was giving away all that he possessed to those in need. However, he concluded that such a sacrificial act would ultimately profit him nothing if he did not do so out of love.

    Paul then imagined that he might give his body to the fire, which may have referred to religious persecution in which he would have to give up his life, or perhaps Paul was referring to his own trials and difficulties short of death. In these scenarios, Paul addressed situations in which he might do incredibly sacrificial things, giving away all his possessions or being burned at the stake. But Paul concluded that without Christian love, these actions amount to nothing.

    Bible commentator Leon Morris put it this way:

    Paul is saying that it is possible for a person to … make this spectacular sacrifice without love. That person may be moved by dedication to a high ideal, or by pride or the like. If so, he gains nothing… Love is the one thing needful. Nothing can make up for its lack.1

    Jesus taught that to “love your neighbor as yourself” is second only to loving the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37–40). The command to love others is the second most important law in Scripture, and therefore Paul argued that without love for others, spiritual gifts have no value.

    After highlighting the preeminence of love in relation to spiritual gifts, in the next four verses (1 Corinthians 13:4–7), Paul shifts his focus to the nature of this love and its virtues, and describes the kinds of actions it produces and what love does and does not do.

    Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant… (1 Corinthians 13:4)

    Paul addressed various aspects of Christian love, starting with patience and kindness, which are fruits of the Holy Spirit’s presence in the lives of Christians (Galatians 5:22–23).

    Love is patient. The quality of patience conveys the sense of long-suffering and self-restraint. God is patient, “slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Numbers 14:18), and in His kindness He makes a way for reprieve from punishment (2 Peter 3:9; Romans 2:4). Patience is thus part of God’s nature, and believers should treat others with patience because of their love for one another. Love motivates us to be patient with others as we remember how patient God is with us. Love responds with patience to others and circumstances rather than getting angry or acting without regard for the interests of others (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

    Love … is kind. The term kindness is found many times in the epistles of Paul, often in the sense that love gives itself in kindness to the service of others (Colossians 3:12; Galatians 5:13–14). Sometimes it can take the form of a careful rebuke designed to bring about a good result, which Paul modeled as he dealt kindly, but firmly, with the Corinthians. Kindness is an expression of love shown to us by God in Christ (Ephesians 2:7). We see this manifestation of love coupled with forgiveness and compassion in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you” (NIV).

    Love … does not envy. This is the first of Paul’s list of eight actions that are incompatible with love. Envy and jealousy can start with admiring someone else’s blessings, which then turns into resentment of what others have. Envy does not reflect the love of Christ, who gave up all for the sake of others. Love is not envious or resentful of the success or blessings of others.

    Love … does not boast. The word translated as boast in this verse is only used in this one instance within the New Testament. The meaning can be understood as “bragging without foundation.” It refers to speaking with excessive pride about one’s achievements, possessions, or abilities to impress others. Love is incompatible with pride and such boasting, as love seeks to give of self, not to assert itself or promote its own self-advancement.

    Love … is not proud. Paul is speaking of pride here in the sense of being overly self-confident. Both the Old and New Testaments condemn pride as wrong and sinful. When one cares about other people, they won’t be full of arrogance and self-importance. As Thomas Aquinas wrote, “To love is to will the good of the other,” which means putting others and their well-being before one’s own.

    [Love is not] rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; (1 Corinthians 13:5)

    What is considered rude can vary between countries, but the foundation of rudeness is a disregard for the customs and manners that others adhere to. When one ignores these customs, it shows disrespect for people, whereas being respectful shows love for them. However, love does not mean that a Christian must go along with the crowd. When believers are faced with a culture or customs that stand in contradiction to their faith, it is not unloving to avoid adherence to these customs.

    Love … does not insist on its own way. In the NIV version, this is translated as “it is not self-seeking.” Love does not place one’s own wants, needs, and desires in first place while failing to take the needs of others into consideration. A loving person puts the interests of others over their own and seeks the good of others. Of course, this does not mean ignoring one’s own needs. We read in the Gospels that from time to time Jesus withdrew from the crowds so that He could get away from the press of the multitude or to take times of prayer (Luke 5:16; 22:41).

    Love … is not irritable. Other Bible translations translate the word irritable as “easily angered” or “provoked.” Those who love others do not normally become angry or irritable at the actions of others, but rather are slow to anger and are patient. Of course, we read in Acts where Paul was distressed and “his spirit was provoked within himself” when he saw the idols in Athens (Acts 17:16), but that was in response to evil, not out of a selfish concern for his own rights.

    Love is not resentful, or as it is expressed in the NIV, “it keeps no record of wrongs.” Those who love others do not keep detailed records of people’s offenses. As one author wrote, “Love does not condone the wrong or harm done but … shows willingness to forgive the wrong by not keeping an account of each harm with a view to future retaliation.”2 Love extends forgiveness to others. As Jesus was on the cross He prayed: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). In the book of Acts, as Stephen was being stoned to death, he prayed: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60).

    it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6).

    Paul contrasted wrongdoing and evil (which may be translated as “unrighteousness, injustice or harm”) with truth in his description of love. In doing so, he is referring to truth in the sense of “living according to the truth.” Truth is at the core of Christianity, as Jesus said, “I am … the truth” (John 14:6), and Paul wrote, “as truth is in Jesus” (Ephesians 4:21). Love rejoices in the truth of the gospel and in God and His Word.

    Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7).

    In this verse, Paul makes four positive affirmations about what love does. In writing that “love bears all things,” he expresses the idea that love bears with many offenses and doesn’t stop loving even when one is faced with the difficulties caused by others, including one’s enemies (Luke 6:27). It also refers to love’s ability to endure hardship for the good of another person. It means choosing to support someone, even through difficult times. This aspect of love is about persevering and remaining steadfast in the face of challenges. As we saw earlier, love is not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV) but rather seeks the good of its neighbor (1 Corinthians 10:24), and to that end, love bears all things for others.

    Believes all things. This aspect of love, translated in the NIV as “always trusts,” refers to never losing faith, or in Augustine’s words, “believing the best.” It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and a willingness to believe in and see the best in others, and helping to create an atmosphere of faith and trust. As one author wrote, “This does not mean that love is gullible, but that it does not think the worst (as is the way of the world). It retains its faith … it is always ready to give the benefit of the doubt.”3

    Hopes all things. Hope is an important part of love, built on our faith and confidence that God will work all things together for the good of those who love Him, no matter what difficulty they are facing (Romans 8:28). We all face difficulties and sometimes failure, which can cause us to feel discouraged or defeated. But the hope that believers have is the sure knowledge, grounded in God’s Word, that Christ will keep us for His glory (1 Peter 5:10; 2 Timothy 4:18). When a believer falls, it is Jesus who raises them up and helps them to stand (Romans 14:4). It is Jesus who promised to bring to completion the good work He began in our lives (Philippians 1:6).

    Endures all things. Love perseveres and never gives up on people. It is easy to love someone when that person doesn’t bring any difficulties, inconveniences, or challenges into our lives. But true love endures during both good times and difficult ones. Here Paul was focused particularly on the need to persevere in love for others. As Christians we should look to the depth and perseverance of Christ’s love as a standard for our own (1 John 3:16 NIV).

    Love never ends (1 Corinthians 13:8a).

    In this third and final section of the chapter, Paul compares the transitory nature of the spiritual gifts referred to earlier in the chapter with the permanence and preeminence of Christian love. Paul starts by asserting in this verse that love never ends (also rendered as love never fails in other translations). He indicates that those who dedicate themselves to Christian love partake of God’s love, which will continue into eternity.

    As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, (1 Corinthians 13:8b–9)

    Paul goes on to describe three spiritual gifts—prophecies, tongues, and knowledge (1 Corinthians 12:8–10)—as temporary. These gifts will not continue in eternity like love will. They also do not provide full knowledge or understanding, as believers only “know in part” and “prophesy in part.” Prophecy, tongues, and knowledge are gifts from the Holy Spirit, which make them valuable for the church, but they are temporary and partial in nature.

    but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away (1 Corinthians 13:10).

    The imperfect understanding that believers may receive through the gifts of prophecy, tongues, and knowledge will all disappear “when the perfect comes. When Christ returns, there will no longer be a need for prophecy, tongues, or limited knowledge in the light of God’s presence. All these gifts only serve as glimpses of the perfect which will come.

    When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways (1 Corinthians 13:11).

    Paul used a parallel with the growth of a child into an adult. As a child he talked, thought, and reasoned as a child would. But when he grew older and matured, he put the ways of childhood behind him. The limitations of the gifts of prophecy, tongues, and knowledge in comparison to the completeness to come can be compared to childish things.

    For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12).

    In Paul’s day, Corinth was known for the mirrors that were made in the city, which may be why he used the analogy. Ancient mirrors were made from polished metal (such as bronze), which resulted in one’s reflection being “dim.” Seeing only dimly in the mirror indicates limited vision. Our knowledge of God is somewhat veiled; we can’t presently see Him in His glory due to our human limitations and our sins. But in the world to come, believers will be redeemed from sin and its effects.

    When we see Christ face to face, we will have a direct encounter with God. We will know God closely and personally in heaven, even as we are fully known by Him. As one author put it,

    Paul compares the indirect, imperfect image we see in the mirror (our present experience in this age) with the direct, complete, clear knowledge of God and his truth (face to face) that we will experience at the resurrection and beyond.4

    So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13).

    Paul closed this part of his letter with a statement that was likely familiar to the Corinthians, as he spent much of his ministry focusing on the importance of faith, hope, and love. By referring to them as “these three,” Paul highlights faith, hope, and love as the preeminent and abiding Christian realities, and he effectively sets them apart from everything else. These three are also often linked elsewhere in the New Testament.

    We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 1:3 NIV).

    We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven (Colossians 1:3–5).

    Paul presented faith as the way believers are joined to Christ and receive salvation; faith represents our trust in God and our commitment to Him. He described hope in terms of salvation that believers receive in heaven. The biblical definition of hope is “the sure and confident expectation of receiving what God has promised us in the future.”5 Faith and hope are closely related, as they represent our belief and trust in God and confident expectation of the fulfillment of His promises for our future in His kingdom.

    While Paul presented Christian love within a trilogy with faith and hope, he then proceeded to raise it to an even higher level by calling it “the greatest of these.” Love will continue into eternity, whereas faith will be turned into sight when we see Jesus face to face (2 Corinthians 5:7), and hope will not continue when the thing hoped for has been realized (Romans 8:24–25). While faith, hope, and love now abide and stand above all spiritual gifts, the greatest of these is love.


    1 Leon Morris, 1 Corinthians: An Introduction and Commentary, vol. 7, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (InterVarsity Press, 1985), 160.

    2 Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (IVP Academic, 2004), 251.

    3 Morris, 1 Corinthians, 161.

    4 Johnson, 1 Corinthians, 255.

    5 “What is the definition of hope?” GotQuestions.org, https://www.gotquestions.org/definition-of-hope.html.

     

  • Aug 12 The Life of Discipleship, Part 2: Loving God with Our Whole Being
  • Jul 29 1 Corinthians: Chapter 12 (verses 12–30)
  • Jul 15 The Life of Discipleship: An Introduction
  • Jul 1 1 Corinthians: Chapter 12 (verses 1–11)
  • Jun 17 1 Corinthians: Chapter 11 (verses 17–34)
  • May 20 1 Corinthians: Chapter 11 (verses 2–16)
  • Apr 22 1 Corinthians: Chapter 10 (verses 16–33)
  • Apr 8 1 Corinthians: Chapter 10 (verses 1–15)
  • Mar 25 1 Corinthians: Chapter 9 (verses 18–27)
   

Beliefs

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  • The Family International (TFI) is an international online Christian community committed to sharing the message of God’s love with people around the globe. We believe that everyone can have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, which affords happiness and peace of mind, as well as the motivation to help others and to share the good news of His love.

Mission

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  • The primary goal of the Family International is to improve the quality of life of others by sharing the life-giving message of love, hope, and salvation found in God’s Word. We believe that God's love—applied on a practical level to our daily lives—is the key to resolving many of society's problems, even in the complex and fast-paced world of today. Through imparting the hope and guidance found in the Bible’s teachings, we believe that we can work toward building a better world—changing the world, one heart at a time.

Values

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  • Love for humankind

    God’s unconditional love for humanity that knows no boundaries of race, creed, or status, motivates and guides us to help meet the needs of those we come in contact with, whether spiritually or practically.

About TFI

TFI Online is a community site for members of The Family International. TFI is an international Christian fellowship committed to sharing the message of God’s love with people around the globe.

Visit our main website if you would like to know more about what TFI is all about.

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Latest Series

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1 and 2 Thessalonians
A study of Paul’s epistles to the Thessalonians and how these teachings apply today.
The Heart of It All: Foundations of Christian Theology
A book compiled from a series of articles covering the basics of Christian doctrine.
Living Christianity
Applying the teachings of the Bible to our daily lives and decisions.