By Gabriel García V.
I had never before appreciated friendships as much as I did during my recent health crisis. After a major heart operation that took eight hours, followed by two days in an induced coma, I woke up and found that my wife and I were being held up and cared for by an amazing network of dear friends, not to mention the literal hundreds of messages from all over the world that I received by phone and email. The encouragement and empathy from my friends gave me the boost I needed to regain strength. Through this experience I have realized the value of friendship.
Suddenly, I discovered that every bit of time that I had dedicated to all those folks—every phone call, every visit I had made, and every message I had written—had built something special. At times I am so caught up in my work that I procrastinate in answering a personal message or stopping to seek the Lord for a prayer request. Yet, after my recent ordeal, I realized the value of taking time for a friend or focusing my attention on a colleague who needs a listening ear.
On the other hand, sincere friendships don’t always require a big investment of time. We had a friend we hadn’t seen in several years who showed up inside the emergency room of the hospital right before my surgery. She is a well-known doctor, and when she heard of my plight, she rushed to the hospital to cheer me on. So quick was her response that she actually arrived at the hospital before my ambulance! I can’t tell you how encouraging that was to me at that crucial moment.
While lying in my hospital bed that week, reading the different messages from friends and acquaintances played an important part in my recovery. “A word spoken in due season, how good it is!” (Proverbs 15:23).
We tend to hear about friends that betray us or that are not there when we need them, and the Bible speaks of them as well, particularly Judas in Jesus’ case and many others in David’s life. But we need to also hear of those who stand by our side or who show up in our time of need! As I have seen in my moment of adversity, scores of friends were there to bolster me in my weakness and to give our family support.
All it took to build that loyalty was a little bit of time and genuine concern, a prayer for one who was in a predicament, a word of confidence to another in a moment of anxiety, a timely phone call, a touch of humor, a compliment for a job well done, etc. As the Proverb goes, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).
Let’s keep in mind that Jesus, despite being the Son of God, treated us as friends. (See John 15:14–15.) And for inspiring reading on deep friendships, read the stories of Ruth with Naomi (Ruth 1:16–17) and David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1–4).
A few years ago, “networking” was the buzzword, the idea being to create a list of contacts that could prove to be useful later. But the biblical concept is quite different. Jesus said to do good and freely give, not expecting anything in return. (See Luke 6:35.) He also said, “Freely you have received; freely give” (Matthew 10:8). If we give with the hope of being repaid someday, we could miss out on the joy that comes with selfless love.
The famous Brazilian singer, Roberto Carlos, wrote a song a few decades ago that has left its mark in all of Latin America and is still heard on radios all over the continent. It says, “I want to have a million friends so we can sing with a stronger voice. I want to share this friendly song with anyone that might be in need.” Indeed, in my moment of affliction, I felt I had a million friends.
If you feel lonely or are in an isolated situation or are prone to being a recluse, I want to encourage you to reach out to others. Take the initiative and start a friendly conversation. Listen with empathy. Offer a helping hand. Like the little poem says:
I went out to find a friend,
but couldn’t find one there;
I went out to be a friend,
and friends were everywhere.
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“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10).
“For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend; so that he does not abandon (turn away from) the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14).
“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend. … Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away” (Proverbs 27:9–10).
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
