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The Bible tells us that our words hold the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). Encouragement often comes through spoken words. So does discouragement. “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Proverbs 12:18), but “how good is a timely word!” (Proverbs 15:23). …
Our words can affect the emotional and spiritual health of someone we care about. … Are we building up the lives of our children, spouse, and other loved ones with our words, or are we tearing them down? Are we inspiring people with hope or crushing their spirits? Proverbs 15:4 says, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
Jesus reminds us that our words originate from inside our hearts: “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34–37). … A critical heart will speak disparaging words; a bitter heart, stinging words; a self-righteous heart, judgmental words; a thankless heart, words of complaint. On the other hand, a loving heart will speak uplifting words; a contented heart, words of faith; a humble heart, words of acceptance; a joy-filled heart, grateful words. Love, contentment, humility, and joy—these qualities within ourselves will help us speak life to others.—GotQuestions.org1
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How is it that unkind words spoken to us can be so painful and damaging? After all, there are no physical wounds that appear when harmful words are spoken; no blood is shed, no bruises appear, no vital organs are pierced or penetrated. Yet, words coming from another person’s mouth can be so painful and hurtful that they can make a person stop eating, stop smiling, stop hoping, and stop believing. How can invisible breaths of air containing sound waves cause so much damage to the human being? It can’t be explained scientifically because it’s a matter of soul and spirit. …
Words can hurt because they can penetrate and wound our souls ... that inner part of us that so many of us overlook because we’ve invested all our time, money, and energy into our flesh (our physical being). The human soul can be helped or hurt by words. The human soul can be encouraged or discouraged by words. Words can get “inside” of us ... not just in our ears and in our brains, but in our souls and our spirits.
If you have been wounded by the words of a fellow human being, you are most likely experiencing pain in your soul. You can’t go to the emergency room and have the wound mended. There is no physical wound to show to the doctor, but there is a wound, nonetheless. So where do we go when our souls are wounded? Psalm 23 gives the answer as it tells us about our Good Shepherd who leads us beside still waters and restores our souls. Words from other humans can wound our souls, but a word from God can heal us!
Psalm 107:20 says, “He sent His word and healed them.” A good word can heal your bones! Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” —Greg A. Lane2
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Fred Craddock is a lecturer at Phillips Theological Seminary in the United States. He tells of a time he was on holiday in Tennessee. He and his wife were having dinner at a restaurant when an old man started talking to them, asking them how they were doing and if they were enjoying their holiday. When the old man asked Fred what he did for a living, Fred saw the chance to get rid of him.—“I’m a preacher.”
“A preacher? That’s great. Let me tell you a story about a preacher.” The old man sat down at their table and started to speak. As he did, Fred’s annoyance was changed to profound humility. The old man explained that he was a bastard—in the literal rather than the figurative sense. He was born without knowing who his father was, a source of great shame in a small town in the early twentieth century.
One day a new preacher came to the local church. The old man explained that as a youngster he had never gone to church, but one Sunday decided to go and hear the new pastor preach. He was good. The illegitimate boy went back again, and then again. In fact, he started attending church just about every week. But his shame went with him. This poor little boy would always arrive late and leave early in order to avoid talking to anyone.
But one Sunday he got so caught up in the sermon that he forgot to leave. Before he knew it, the service was over and the aisles were filling. He rushed to get past people and out the door, but as he did, he felt a hand upon his shoulder.
He turned around to see the preacher, a big tall man, looking down at him asking, “What’s your name, boy? Whose son are you?” The little boy died inside; the very thing he wanted to avoid was now here. But before he could say anything, the preacher said, “I know who you are. I know who your family is. There’s a distinct family resemblance. Why, you’re the son of…, you’re the son of…, you’re the son of God!”
The old man said, “You know, mister, those words changed my life.” And with that he got up and left.—Ben Hooper, two-term governor of Tennessee3
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For years I monitored children during recess and playground activities. Between all the running, jumping, rowdiness, and good-natured play, someone would often end up getting run into, tripped, shoved, etc.
Often the child who had caused the accidents would immediately raise his or her hands and say, “It’s not my fault” or “I didn’t do it on purpose!” But of course, establishing guilt wasn’t the immediate priority. The most important issue is the welfare of the “injured” one.
I saw this scene play out so many times that I finally realized that most of us have to learn empathy. It doesn’t come naturally. The children were confusing “I’m sorry” with an admission of guilt, and since they hadn’t harmed anyone on purpose, they didn’t feel the need to feel sorry for them. But in life, like on the playground, we sometimes inadvertently hurt someone and need to apologize.
We may have reasons. Maybe we didn’t realize, we didn’t think things through, we didn’t consider the implications of our words or actions. Maybe there were extenuating circumstances, misunderstandings, others involved. Every story has at least two sides. The problem is that when we say, “I’m sorry, but let me explain,” we’re usually turning the focus on ourselves instead of the one we’ve hurt. Then we become the victim of a misunderstanding. It’s sometimes helpful to offer clarifications if we can and give our side of the story. But first things first—did someone get hurt? An apology spoken with sincerity contains a healing balm.
Back to the playground. Another lesson I learned from 35 years of working with children—if we’re quick to apologize, the other side is usually quick to forgive. That’s the best part.—Sally Garcia
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Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.—Author unknown
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When an apology is due, give it freely, then follow your apology with action.—Judy Ford
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Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.—Margaret Lee Runbeck
Published on Anchor August 2026. Read by Jerry Paladino. Music by Michael Dooley.
1 “What does it mean to speak life?” gotquestions.org, https://www.gotquestions.org/speak-life.html
2 Greg A. Lane, My Morning Walks with God (Inspired Design & Graphics, 2016).
3 Source: Reported in Tony Campolo, It’s Friday but Sunday’s Comin’ (Word, 1985).
